my brother

is one funny guy. just like this post, i'm dedicating this post to my brother and the funny slash ridiculous things he says.


chase (while watching keeping up with the kardashians) :"gotta love Bruce Jenner moments of reflection. cue the montage."


me: "burger king needs to ditch their 'trendy' nonsense advertisements and go back to the king. BRING BACK THE KING!!"
chase:"yeah! let's go king. vamos el rey! they changed from king-centric to food-centric. big mistake. the king doesn't easily forgive."


me: "are you going to any more short shorts conventions?"
chase: "haha. you like?"
me: "no. one question: why?"
chase: "answer: suns out, guns out."
me: "wow. this is when i pretend i don't know you...."
chase: "you may not acknowledge me, but you can't ignore Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary."


me: "would you judge me if i told you i was watching 'diners, drive-ins, and dives' with guy fieri right now?"
chase: "only if you were wearing wrist bands on your forearms, a watch on one wrist, 3 bracelets on the other, wearing a bowling short with flames, sunglasses on the back of your head and a visor with bleach blonde hair.
then i would judge you."


me: "chase i shot a gun yesterday! AMERICA!"
chase: "USA, USA, USA! back to back world war champs."


chase: "'call me maybe' is stuck in my effing head."
me: "HEY I JUST MET YOU.....
        ....AND THIS IS CRAZY....
        ....BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER"
chase: "i appreciate the caps."
me: "i'm having trouble CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!"
chase: "text modulation."


chase: "what is your number one jam these days?"


chase: "of course, i called Pea on her birthday."
me: "aw i bet she loved that!"
chase: "yep, discussed the merits and attributes of zoo animals."


chase: "I think joey greco produced the lipozene commercials."
me: "haha what makes you say that?"
chase: "it's creepy in the same way."