alright. let me fill you in on a little adventure i had this afternoon.
recently, i bought a groupon (for $29!) for 10 yoga classes at Bikram Yoga in fremont. my initial thought: "oh, sweet! what a great deal. i've been wanting to do yoga for awhile." what i failed to realize was that it was Bikram Yoga aka Hot Yoga aka 105 degrees aka DEATH.
as soon as i finished my first class last week, i knew i had made a huge mistake.
my first class went a little like this:
first: me sweating out of EVERY pore in my body. pores i didn't even know i had. how do i know that? my forehead was sweating. my CALVES were sweating. my palms were sweating so bad, i couldn't even hold onto my limbs to do a posture. truly disgusting.
second: speaking of disgusting....speedos. and lots of them. the first offense was the guy two people away from me who was showing off with his handstands and other various tricks (of course.) speedos are the worst.
third: every other thought "no. NO." ; "what did i get myself into?!" ; and "WHYYYYYYYYYY" interrupted by my pathetic breathing attempts.
the first time i went, i went with lindsey, since her, katie & i all bought the groupon together.
today, i decided to go alone. since my car has been acting a little weird AND it wasn't raining, i decided it would be a good idea to walk there. i was wrong. in case you weren't aware, i live on the border of queen anne and ballard. the yoga place i go to is in fremont. 2 miles the opposite direction. so, i put on my headphones, got my nikes on, i'm ready to go....i'm walking there, psyched about life. 35 minutes later, i arrive. take my shoes off, my sweats, jacket, and migrate into the 105 degree room. the class started at 4, i was in there at around 3:40. i had already been sweating a considerate amount by the time class started.
class starts, and it's going decently....keeps going and i start sweating more. (the guy in front of me looked like he had just jumped into a pool because he was DRIPPING. sick sick sick.) then i start getting really lightheaded. then my peripheral vision starts fading.
time-out: they tell you to do hot yoga on an empty stomach and to stop drinking water an hour before class. class is an HOUR AND A HALF long. in case you can't do math, 105 DEGREES PLUS EMPTY STOMACH EQUALS LIGHTHEAD-NESS/PASSING OUT.
have they no soul?!
time-in: i decide before i faint in front of a group of 30 strangers wearing short shorts (with legs that haven't been shaved in about a week), that i have to get the heck out of there. i'm trying to think of the cleanest, least disruptive getaway, and realize that i am at the complete opposite side of the room where the exit is located. i realize the longer i just stand there looking both awkward and like an idiot, the worse it will be. so i grab my mat and towel and avoid all eye contact. i didn't, however, escape the attention of the instructor as he asked "are you alright?" while i said in an embarrassed, (i'm sure high-pitched voice), "yes."
i could have kissed the floor when i got out of that hell hole. i sat down on the bench and tried to get control of both my consciousness and dignity.
after i mustered up a bit of strength and none of my dignity, i walked past the classroom and began the 2 mile trek back home. i also thought it would be a good idea to walk along the canal so i wouldn't have to run into many people (haha funny) and due to the sweet (albeit LOUD) melodies of justin timberlake in my ears, i almost got ran over by a bicycle brigade and joggers because i couldn't hear the always-annoying "on your left!". this happened several times, once accompanied with the finger.
you stay classy, seattle.
i had to sit down more than once to catch my breath. and pretend i wasn't soaked in my own sweat.
the problem is now, i bought 10 classes and have only used 2. holding true to birky form, you can bet that i am going to use every single one of those classes.
and i'm going to hate every second of them. if i don't pass out first.
stay tuned.
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