abroad thoughts.

     i've always intended on writing this blog as a memory (cause we all know mine sucks), as a sort of virtual-scrapbook for my life the past couple of years. and that means everything: pictures, events, rants, dreams, etc. my journey to london is apart of that - and i'm so glad that i can update my friends/family as well as writing everything down for myself to remember and look back at later on. i started writing when i went off to college two years ago (has it been that long already?!) to keep people updated. i wasn't really sure how long i would keep it up, or how often i would post. it's become a labour (i automatically put the 'u' in that...what has england done to me??) of love. i don't sit down and make myself write. ideas come when they want, and forced thoughts are the worst kind to write. or read. through the last two years, i've also realized how much i love to write. i like to think it's genetic: my parents and brother and sister are all fantastic writers. and i mean that. i love writing like i love fashion: you can express yourself through it. you don't have to be perfect. it's individual. it's a craft. but if you ever read my journal, you might think differently. sometimes i just write down what i'm thinking and it makes no sense at all. sometimes writing it down helps me solve an issue. so bear with me here.

     that aside, i've been thinking about how my study abroad experience is expanding my education. while london may not be third-world or in a different language, there are definitely differences. everyone here smokes. people generally care more about their appearance (i've hardly seen any sweatpants!). people are constantly in a rush (maybe that's just a big-city thing...). they know way more about what's going in America than Americans know about what's going on in England.

     at the same time, there are similarities. the thing that's had the biggest impact on me is brokenness. brokenness is universal. it's no secret that we live in a broken world - we as humans are inherently sinful. i've witnessed so much of it firsthand lately: homelessness, extreme intoxication, people upset, angry, yelling....i don't know if i've somewhere along the way forgotten this, or if i haven't been exposed to anything like it. but here it is, in my face. and yet -- i am in no place to judge. i am no better than they are. my sin is just as bad as theirs. as tears stream down my face, i am rudely reminded of how awful i am and how completely amazing God is. i'm the first to admit that i forget it sometimes. but when i really honestly think about it, i don't understand. why me? why does God love me when i don't deserve it? i don't get it. and i don't think i ever will. but strangely enough, that's what i find comfort in. knowing that God is so much greater and powerful than i will ever know is what i find solace in. sometimes the most unexplainable things are the most important. so i can do either one of two things: be quick to judge and not bother understanding other people; or try to love on them as Christ has loved me. i'll give you a hint....the right one is not the easy one.

true, i'm expanding my academic education, but i'm also expanding my world view as well. which, to be honest, i think is more important. to understand how to love people, you have to try to understand their differences and see life through their eyes. it's helping me to comprehend how jesus loved us.

if it took me a trip overseas to see that, it's worth it.