title goes here.

apparently that time i mentioned that would be "soon" in my last post is now. i am slightly forced into this - my house is currently being spider-bombed and i am quarantined to my room on the third floor.

so. where do i begin? i have HARDLY blogged - or even written in a journal - at all this summer. the bad memory in me is shaming myself...how will you remember what you did for those few months? while the laziness in me is haphazardly throwing up a hand and saying "whatever. oh well."

let's summarize (no joke - i just wrote "summerize". either summer has sunk in for too long or i have been out of school for too long. or maybe both) what has occupied my time since june:

nannying.

working at weddings.

dentist. (cavities + upcoming wisdom teeth extraction)

birthdays.

jury duty.

visit to illinois.

spending time with my friends and my love.

if i wrote about every single one of those, i would have a novel and you would be here all day and/or night. so i'll spare you. also - nothing on this blog is ever organized so be ready for sporadic thoughts and general jumping around.

i've noticed in my life lately that the most unexpected and unplanned things are often the best. even through the worries and panic, things end up working out and you realize you aren't as in control of your life as you'd like to be. but that's ok because even if you don't know your next step, God does, and will provide. i've had more than one freakout about what i'm going to do after i graduate. i still don't know, if you're wondering. my life is going to change a lot within a year. i will be done with school in a matter of 6 months (um. WHAT?); i'll be moving out of my house of 8 girls; i will be working (fingers crossed haha); people will be moving away, etc. and as much as i try to resist and deny change - believe me, i'm the queen - i know that's how life is and even though it will be hard, it will be good. life is a series of changes...different seasons of life is part of the deal, whether you signed up for it or not. i suppose the time from when you graduate high school and into your mid/late 20s is when you go through the most change and growth. i'm right in the middle of it all - 21 - and i couldn't tell you where i'll be in a year or 5 years. in fact, if you told me, i would probably laugh and tell you you're crazy. 

let me give you a few examples:

>>>finals got the best of me along with the rest of end of the school-year craziness- and i realized i didn't have a plan for the next step - summer. i applied to probably 10-15 places and either didn't get the job or didn't hear back. i was so discouraged by the third week that i almost gave up. i decided to make a profile on care.com to nanny....i was actually contacted by one of my sister's friends, and got connected to other families - and the rest is history. she also owns a wedding planning/event company, so i've gotten to work for her doing that this summer, which i've really enjoyed. it's something i never could have guessed or anticipated, but i'm so thankful everything happened like it did. 

>>>one year ago, i was all ready to go across the world to europe to study abroad - be by myself in another country & continent and explore. i had absolutely zero intention of meeting anyone, much less dating and falling in love any time soon. i met ryan three weeks before i left for 3 months. i wouldn't have chose the timing, but again, i wouldn't have it any other way now. we went on a couple dates before i left, and continued talking even though i was halfway across the world and 8 hours ahead. when i came back in december, we started dating. i remember my mom telling me if i wasn't feeling it on those few dates we went on, i was going to be across the world and wouldn't have to see or talk to him again if i didn't want to. i laugh at that now, because i can't imagine my life without him. he truly is my best friend, my encourager, my supporter, the one i can always count on, and my love. we've been together for almost 9 months and i can't wait to see where life takes us together.

>>>my grandmother recently passed after almost 94 years of life. she was sure something. about a month ago, my dad let all three of us know that her health was starting to seriously decline - she stopped eating/taking her medication - and just to be aware that she was going to pass away soon. she beat the time her doctor gave her...my dad said "she was tougher than that". and she was. she passed on aug. 23 (also my parent's anniversary) and we flew out the 25th (my sister's birthday). all five of us were able to make it out to illinois for her funeral. the time frame was nearly perfect for every one of us to go. i'd like to call it divine timing - it was completely out of our hands, and something we couldn't figure out. we all got to be together - along with our aunts, uncles, cousins, & other loved ones - to celebrate the life of this woman that has always been in ours. and to say a final goodbye to the human she was: kind, generous, selfless, happy, encouraging, easy-going, a woman truly committed to not only her family but to the Lord. we will miss her so much - but her legacy will live on long after. and that is the best thing you can hope for and dream about.

I don't know a lot- but I can tell you God is faithful and God will provide. He has a plan when you don't. He loves. Oh how he loves us.