it's been awhile.....really.

a LONG WHILE. it's been almost three months since i've posted anything - and i can blame that on a few things. [first - and most obviously] - school. taking 17 credits took more time than i anticipated. [second] - nannying. i did more nannying this quarter than i have done any other quarter. i did it this summer, and a few of the families i nanny for wanted to continue into the fall, and i won't say no to extra money ;) plus the lil nuggets are so cute. [third] - laziness. i know i always blame my lack of blogging on laziness, but i felt it more in the past 6 months or so than i ever have. every time i thought "'maybe i should write my thoughts down about that' or 'i should recap x experience'" i never felt like i had the energy to sit down and write. it's funny because as much time as school took up for me this quarter, none of them were writing-heavy. and maybe that's why i didn't feel like writing anything on here, because i wasn't really in the habit of it anyhow. so as of now, one of my goals (not resolutions, i hate those) for 2014 is to write on here more consistently. 
some most of my blog ideas had(ve?) to do with evolving personally. deep stuff, really. and i haven't really had a chance until now to sit down, decompress, and mentally chew on thoughts that have been rambling around in my head for the past few months. i recently hung out with two of my besties from high school - carly & jourdan. over a warm fire & wine - jourdan and i talked about how different our lives are even from just 4 years ago in high school. i view things so differently, feel more mature and responsible, and hopefully look a little older ;) (tell that to the people who ID me 100% of the time) life begins out of your comfort zone, i've found. there are seriously thousands (if not more) blog posts on that exact subject. believe me, i've read a few. what i've found is that everyone's experiences are different. example: a friend posted this blog post: http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/
there are definitely some good points in this article, but i can't help feeling that the author of it is somewhat bitter. she talked about seeing other people getting married/engaged in their early twenties, and goes on basically to say that it's a stupid idea and people don't know what they're doing. to that, i have to assume she has never been in love.you can do all of these things with your boyfriend/husband and be just as happy and adventurous (maybe not #3 & #11...) this blog post is a perfect example of 90% of the attitudes girls have at SPU. small school, 3-to-1 ratio, Christian, ring-by-spring, MRS degree, blah blah blah. you get the picture. sometimes you can feel suffocated by it. trust me. and i never pictured myself at 21 seriously dating someone. in fact, i would have probably thought you were crazy. but that's what's so great about the future - you can't predict it. you can be bitter and depressed that you don't have someone to be with, but having that attitude ultimately isn't going to get you to the preferred end goal. another element the post is missing is anything about the Christian perspective. and believe me, i've read enough about those too. i.e. how to pray for your future husband (GAG). this is a great blog post from a Christian perspective on how your spouse is not your end-all, be-all: http://theartinlife.wordpress.com/2013/07/22/my-husband-is-not-my-soul-mate/
ugh, i just love this post. it's all about how love isn't a fairy tale or a feeling - but a choice to love your husband/wife every day. my favorite part from the post: "You could have a great marriage with any number of compatible people. There is no ONE PERSON for you. But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person." love love love that. so many people buy into the lie that "there is only one person for me, and what if i never find them or find them too late?" they've never thought of the notion that soulmates may not exist. or at least how they pictured them to be. you don't have one chance - you have multiple chances. you can be in love more than once. after all, God gives us new chances everyday. imagine if he gave us just one chance to be good, upstanding, God-fearing Christian human beings? it's ridiculous. the whole idea of finding a soulmate just doesn't make sense - but most of us (girls at least) have grown up with it. almost subconsciously, really. that is something that needs to change in middle/high school youth groups. BUT that's a post for another day. 

all this to say that everyone has a different experience. everyone has a story. good or bad. exciting or less-than-exciting. freeing or stifling. some people get married at age 19. some wait until way later. some travel the world. some find the same experiences closer to home. and you know what? it's okay. it's awesome. that's what makes being a young person so wonderful - meeting people going through something completely different than you - and still having something to talk about because you're trying to figure it out like they are. i'm 21. and i've definitely matured since 16, 18...but i still have maturing to do. growth. experiences. life. with or without a significant other.